- Masturbation: Ok let's swap notes about what you may have discovered already. Masturbation! Or in your language - touching yourself, diddling and those other words that you have for masturbation. Whether you are a boy or a girl, masturbation is a very safe way of letting off steam. And that will keep you out of trouble as well. You may be of any age between 13 and 18 and your body is maturing and is going to need, how should we put it? Umm, yes a nice romp with a hot guy/gal and chances are as you read this, you are in a tearing hurry to experience sex.You must have already heard tales of it in the boy's or girl's lockers and don't want to be left behind. But wait! There are probably things that you need to know about the opposite sex before you actually make out! So till then, masturbation is absolutely safe and will also help you when you actually have sexual intercourse later on. Don't feel guilty about it as it is perfectly normal thing to do and it is not a sin! See you already knew that right? How can something that feels so good could be so bad! Teenage boys sometimes get an erotic dream and some white discharge. Don't worry that's known as a wet dream and it is just the body's natural response to the sexual thoughts and desires that we have.
- Pregnancy: Now just because you might be a guy reading this don't ignore it. We know you can't get pregnant but what we do know is that sometimes teenagers don't realize the seriousness and consequences of their actions and you could end up getting the girl pregnant. So you ready to be a dad yet? No way! Right? And if you are a girl, then make sure you get this right. Condoms are not 100% effective and if it is your bad luck, the one that your guy uses could have just a tiny hole in it which might expose you to pregnancy and a lot worse. So realize what you could be getting yourself in to. Having sex just to fit in or to please someone else is like sitting for their math exam for them. Would you do that? Then use head very carefully and think of the practical dangers in living of the edge.
- Sexually transmitted diseases: When I spoke of your sexcapades leading to unwanted teenage pregnancy due to unprotected sex, therein also lies the grave danger of sexual infections. We are only teenagers! We are clean. Sure but are you sure the people that you have been with or experienced sex with were clean? Physical appearance is no true measure of sexual character. There are lot of sexual diseases and infections running about picking on teenagers just like you, who might let their guard down and have unprotected sex with a partner who might not even be aware of the infection. Get knowledge about HIV, AIDS, Herpes etc.
- Contraception: Teenage sex is not advised. But, well let's just say that you have made up your mind to do it with your partner. Well, if you are a boy you should be slipping on a condom which wasn't lugged around much in your wallet or pocket or chances are it could be damaged. So make sure you break your piggy bank to get yourself a packet of some decent condoms from the store. Don't ever think of using an already used condom on your girl friend. If you are a girl then there is something known as polyurethane condom or female condom or femidom which is a rubber sheath which is inserted in the vagina to prevent ejaculated semen from entering the womb and prevents the chances of you contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Oral contraceptives might save you from pregnancies but won't prevent an infection. Remember the best contraception method is saying NO. If you are not comfortable or sure that you should be having sex!
- There is more to life than just sex: Yes you are at an impossible age where most of your dreams are occupied by playboy centerfolds and beach babes or muscled heroes. Remember, your body still has to go through a lot of changes and what you are feeling is completely natural. Yet, there is more to life than just the physical act. Sex is better when there is a mutual respect and love for the other person. So channelize those energies in physical and mental activity as there will be enough time for sex later on. This sexual energy can either make a person or wreck a person so it will be better to put plough it back in to your studies or hobbies and let nature do its work, which it will sooner or later.
- Sex is trust: Sex is all about spontaneity love, affection, attraction and yes, trust is the key word here. Without trust in yourself and your partner sex cannot be enjoyed. Trust is that factor which assures your girlfriend that you will not use sex as a means to manipulate or cause emotional or physical hurt. Trust causes that spontaneity to completely embrace a new person and to be comfortable enough with him or her to have sex with. Remember, trust may seem like just 5 letters but the word has a world of meaning. Trust also includes confidentiality and privacy and taking responsibility for your actions right?
- Commercial sex: Now we all know how sex can be available commercially i.e. you must have heard some of the older guys bragging about how they have an arrangement to have paid sex. Now this is quite a dangerous practice. Dangerous not only because of the sexual infections that commercial sex workers could pass on nor is it a moral issue. No! Commercial sex just takes away the entire pleasure of mutual give and take and can ruin your self-esteem in the long run. Real relationships are much more fun and can add tons of things to your personality than commercial sex ever will.
- Open up to your parents: Now this is a beaut isn't it? Imagine telling your intimate secrets to your parents. Whatever next! But wait. Don't behave like you are the one who's invented sex! Your parents have been at this game longer than you think so at the first hint of any trouble, your parents - either mum or dad can be more of a trusted friend and guide than you give them credit for. This will in turn instill a sense of responsibility and a harmonious atmosphere in the family once they know that their teenager turns to them for advice. Hey, I know that's probably not the easiest thing to do but it's well worth it.
- Life isn't a porn film: Ah the pleasures of pornography are all well known. Well remember don't try and make this fantasy real especially if you are exposing someone else to this danger. Without your partner's consent do not attempt to shoot pictures or videos for the next progression is putting them up on facebook. That is not just contemptible but could get you in trouble with the law. Besides, avoid expressing love in a strange place for you never know who might be lying in wait wanting to make you famous! Sorry to say this but life certainly isn't a porn film!
- Sex is a responsibility: Sex is a pleasure but a responsibility as well and don't let your age be an excuse for you to ignore it. When two people decide to have sex, make sure you weigh the pros and cons before proceeding, as with sex also come certain unpleasant words like commitment, pregnancy, love and relationship. Some guys will promise anything just to get a girl. So ensure that you live up to your promises or best make none you can't keep. And be ready for the responsibility either way.
To sum it up here is a beautiful sex checklist for you to check out
- Both physical and emotional in nature.
- Risky; you can get pregnant, catch a sexually transmitted infection, have your heart broken or your ego bruised, or feel let down and disappointed when it is over.
- A milestone; you only get one chance to lose your virginity.
- Sensitive; be sure that the timing is right for you and your partner.
- Not to be taken lightly or treated as recreation.
- Best when it is a personal expression of caring between two people.
- Messy and full of strange, sometimes embarrassing noises.
Sex is NOT...
- A way to make somebody love you or make a commitment to you
- A test of your love for your partner
- A measure of how mature or grown up you are
- A good way to get back at your parents or assert your independence
- A leisure activity
- Always fun or enjoyable, sometimes you will wonder if it was really worth it
Remember, when you have sex for the wrong reasons you hurt yourself!